Movies: Bent, You'll Get Over It

Bent (1997)

I began watching this movie six months ago and decided to cease maybe it was because it was not capturing me. The real reason was that I never used to actually watch movies, they'd be mere background noises while I went about my night of insomnia. Nowadays, I have a thorough attention span and I found this movie all kinds of entertaining.
So, to kick things off we're presented with a 'nightclub' scene of the Weimar Berlin persuasion featuring a bevy of individuals clad in the kind of clothes associated with circus, burlesque, cabaret etc etc. and they're dancing, and smooching, and drinking, and fucking and smiling (It even has Mick Jagger as a drag queen flouncing around on a bird swing a la Moulin Rouge). So, you're experiencing this visionary dream, the delectable Clive Owen shows up (as Max) and flits around being a babe but you're not invested because you know this is a concentration camp movie and you know where it's heading and you don't get too attached to this narrative because you know it's only included to provide contrast and to rip your tiny heart to pieces when the shit hits the fan.
The movie itself is less concerned with exposing the horrors of Nazi Germany than it is about developing this relationship between these two men - Max, who opts for a Jewish badge to avoid getting a pink triangle, and Horst who has, which means you're a flaming homo, in case you didn't know.
While I really did enjoy this one, there was this niggling feeling that if this were presented to you as a pie there would be some tiny portion of the pie missing. It could have had to do with the fact that knowing the nature of the film I wasn't expecting any sort of fluffy, feel good movies. Perhaps, I have become so adjusted to your standard format that when something goes slightly askew I freak out. It may be attributed to it being a play initially. Even though I love me a good play - movie crossover there's always something wrong. Usually too dialogue heavy or lacking in fragrant imagery.

You'll Get Over It (2002)

Known by the frenchies as À cause d'un garçon which translates to "due to a boy", this is your average coming out/coming of age film. Vincent is this secret homo but a partially non-discreet rendez-vous with a fancy beau puts him in hot water when some of ses amis 'out' him in front of the whole school by the surefire method of schoolyard graffiti! Point of difference, he's a swimmer and has no desire to don a feather boa, colour his hair pink and go off dancing to Annie Lennox (although he does make a 'nightlife' attempt which results in a myriad of unwanted advances by putrid men treating him as some prize to be won). Now that he is a known homo, his swim team now hate him and will do anything to deter him from swimming with them (maybe because you can you catch gay through chlorinated water?). I actually really enjoyed this one. I think that if movies like these exist (slightly more honest and nuanced accounts) or were more accesible it could aid gay youths into more of a positive, self-acceptive state. Just a thought.

Music: Current Faves

No Man's Woman - Various Artists

I'm attempting to bridge the gap of not liking any male artists, much less Australian male artists. So, I knew this existed (released 2007) but I had always disregarded it because I thought it was a cheap attempt at that whole She Will Have Her Way thing. After 5 years of this placating I decided I should just give it a go, it might be fun. Of course, It has all the big hits from all the big female artists I love. Of particular note is Lior's cover of the Fleetwood Mac famed Landslide and The Vines' cover of famed twins The Veronicas' Forever (which itself is a twin of Pink's U + Ur hand but that's another kettle of fish). It features covers of other crowd faves such as Wuthering Heights, River, Hyperballad, To Bring You My Love, I Am Woman and the karaoke fave, Nothing Compares 2 U, but at the end of the day, I haven't been converted to any of the artists and the only reason I vaguely like any of the CD is because the songs on their own are such excellent pieces of work. Let's face it, anyone can cover Joni Mitchell's River and it'll be good because it's a fucking good song! bottom line.

Lana Del Rey - Self Titled (2010)

Lana Del Rey has been the new hot tamale everybody is talking about. She is ridiculously stunning with that whole golden day hollywood glamour appeal not to mention her breakthrough single Video Games which got people talking about its D.I.Y production and erryfing. And then in interviews she's all introverted and a bit candid so she comes across as a bit of an enigma. Naturally, I love her! Since her album which features Video Games and Blue Jeans hasn't been released I did some sleuthing and discovered she had made an album in 2010, fairly independently, simply titled, her stage name, 'Lana Del Rey'. It's great! It has all these folk elements and then you get a more uptempo April March kind of vibe (especially on my current album fave, Kinda Outta Luck) and it has been pointed out to me that sometimes she gets a bit Lydia Lunch on yo ass! (Mermaid Motel). So, it's a really good album and I enjoy very much how her look is all a bit incongruent with her image etc because that perpetuates this idea that if you're something you don't have to exclusively be this one thing! Eclecticism!

Grace Jones - Portfolio (1977) 

Let's face it, we all love a bit of Grace Jones! She's was a muse for Andy Warhol, she has a plethora of music spanning through decades and she still does it even though she's basically 80! I happened across this kind of 70s Disco Trilogy of Albums. This is the first, Portfolio, it pre-empts Fame and Muse. They're all 5 track beauties of fabulous, nasty disco! It's wondrous! I'm particularly fond of this one because it opens with this fantastic Medley which combines Send In The Clowns, What I Did For Love & Tomorrow into one glorious 18 minute groove fest. What's not to love? She goes on to do a cover of La Vie En Rose which is always a winner and then onto two other Gracey originals and then finishes with the famed I Need A Man. It's pure greatness! and madness! I'm going to be listening to these and pretending I'm some sort of gay man in the 70s wearing my jeans high and cut off, with my intensely legitimate tan and fondling my handlebar moustache as I dance around on docks cruising for dick.

Obligatory Misfits Post

I'm obliged to make a post about Misfits since errybody is loving it and it would almost be a crime against nature/humanity if I didn't have some sort of written documentation to prove I was, in fact, a massive fan like everyone else.

Now, I've just had two cups of tea in a row and that is the equivalent of smoking a point of crystal meth for me.

I only recently got into Misfits. The first season came out in 2009 and in the course of maybe a month or two I crammed in three seasons. I wanted to make it all spaced out and lovely but due to the show's excellence and mostly the risk of socially outcasting myself I watched them in quick succession.

To share my opinions on the whole season would be stale so I'm just going to go over Season 3. To spare anyone who hasn't watched it I'll slip it behind a nice jump...

Movies: Bam Bam & Celeste

I was going to include this movie in my last big movie post but I just loved it so much it deserved a blog of its own so I could go on and gush about it for years!

Bam Bam & Celeste (2005)

I just have to say this is the kind of movie that I enjoy immensely. It's got all these similar elements of Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion (which we will all admit is probably the single best teen comedy film that doesn't feature teens in the slightest ever!) Yep, to my delight we have the famed "I'm forty but i'm going to play a teenage character" approach. Then they age, but only to their early twenties so you're just sitting there wandering WHY!? but loving it sick at the same time. It also features the classic road trip motif which is generally a winner, with whacky encounters showcasing a myriad of cameos! And it's just the biggest camp fest that actually succeeds at entertaining - not too crass, but not without it's shameless sexual innuendo. Oh, and the best of all it's an All Star B-List Celebrity Fave Fest. I'll just take a moment to reflect on its sub-par celebrity awesomeness: Obviously, Margaret Cho, who also wrote the script and stars as her character Celeste as well as her mother, Mommy (which leads us to another stint of comic excellence - with the broken English and whatnot. I was conflicted though cause I started thinking of that whole post-modern racism as humour but I decided to ditch the debbie dodo and submit to my carnal amusements). Then we had Elaine Hendrix playing the bitchy popular girl (for those n00bs, she's one of the cool girls from Romy & Michelle - the one that turns her tragic life around and becomes an editor at Vogue and ends up 'not that bad'), Kathy Najimy has a random cameo as this clairvoyant - reminiscent of her witchy days, the ever-fabulous Alan Cumming playing an incidentally dull role but my favourite is Jane Lynch who plays this big lesbian hick with a mullet!

So, Bam Bam & Celeste, who are besties in that classic Gay and Fag hag dynamic, decide to drive to New York to compete in a game show where friends transfer fugly people beautiful because as it turns out, Bam Bam (being a gay) is some extraordinary beautician/stylist/hairdresser/general gay. That's the basic plot gist and the rest writes itself. Basically, it's all sorts of hysterical cliche's but somehow subverted? is that a thing? can you subvert cliches? in film? It's probs so obvious and I'm probably so tired the quarter of a brain that I have refuses to function! Oh, and its all full of anachronisms! I'll let you spot them for yourself! It's no fun if someone tells them to you!

I am so tickled by this film that I think I will share it with ya'll whoever reads this business.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=WDSWDGD2

So, I really may be blowing the horn of this alleged amazing movie which to you may seem like a mourning rendition of the last post by an inexperienced trumpet player complete with honks and the imfamous brassy timbre BUT give it a go and if you find it to be a larf let me know! I might share more stuff!

I might add! If I have persuaded you of any other film I've been talking of and you don't know how to sink your dirty mitts into them, you can ask me politely and i'll upload it for ya! :)

Movies: Marathon

So, I've been a bit of a movie watching frenzy lately and i'll give you the lowdown in case you was thinking of going and seeing any of these...

Movies: Cemetery Junction & Wolves of Kromer

The other night I went to bed at some ridiculous hour of 11pm. As a result, I woke up at 3am wide awake and decided I would get up and attempt some sort of movie marathon with me and my sleepy time spirits. So, I dig two chocoloate croissants out of the bin and cook myself up some popcorn and sit down to watch two movies....

I have been umming and ahhing about watching this for so long and in my wide eyed faux delirium my over analytical brain had switched off and I was able to sit down and not talk myself out of it.
It's set in 1973 so instantly I'm into it, although, the tirade of glorious 70s fashion was not gratuitously thrown in my face which was disappointing. The movie was more focused on telling this story about three frunds who are all working class and the protagonist (Christian Cooke, who I was going to make a comment about being a bit of a teen crush until I just imdb'd him to discover he is some sort of block headed minger!) wants something more from life than continuing the cycle that most families find themselves trapped in. He gets a bigshot job as some life insurance selling jerk and soon learns that maybe he's feeling out of place? His boss is played by Ralph Fiennes which is delicious! Anyhow, no surprises that many of the plots were predictable and all (is anything original these days?) but it was generally enjoyable. In typical fashion, the highlight for me is always gonna be the veteraned female actress. Emily Watson plays the wife of Ralph Fiennes (do you love that I don't bother referring to them as the characters they play) and portrays the archetypal repressed wife who gets a tiny slither of come uppence and lives vicariously through her daughter. It's all about breaking cycles. I related.

The second movie I watched was Wolves of Kromer. It's some ridiculously low budget indie film from 1998 and is narrated by Boy George. One point I have to make about narrating/voiceovers, there really is no point to them if it's going to be used so inconsistently. In this case, he delivers a half-assed introduction and that's the end of it. Bam! Top Billing for Ol Georgie! Again, there was nothing inherently special about this film except for its gay themes. The writer has used this wolf as an allegory for gays. Oh, and they're not actually wolves they're babes wearing big fur coats and tattered pants and long toenails. So, the townsfolk are referring to the wolves as "diseased" and the like so I found myself sitting there smiling patronisingly and nodding in that 'I see what you've done there' way. There's this whole other subplot where these two old cray cray bitties named Fanny and Doreen are attempting to kill some woman so they can get all of her things (at least, that is what I gathered was going on). It's all very unclear and there were so many things going on. Nonetheless, I enjoyed it as much as I could. Especially the very last scene as the credits roll. I wouldn't rate it a howling success but perhaps just a bit of furry fun.

Festive: Hard Candy Christmas

Despite my continual aspiration to be a festive Frida this year I fear I am falling short.

This song is the sonic embodiment of my internal monologue!

RuPaul - Hard Candy Christmas

The dance outro will certainly get you into some sort of Messy Christmas Rhythms!

Youtube Fun

Just to clarify, it's 5.15am and I've gone and done my famed non sleeping stint and it will probably come as no surprise if I told you I spent my entire sleepless night watching youtube videos. Goodness, it's relentless!

This is also a P.S.A. to say don't be surprised if this gets inundated with my flawed findings!

So, remember being a tiny tot and being in the primary school band and you would probably play some hideous woodwind instrument and if you pursued it you maybe could've become an Orchestra musician or St. Germain but you didn't cause it was so uncool? Well, these superbabes I shall share have taken their love for the uber embarrassing and laughable bassoon and made it cool.

Ahem, to the video!

I'll admit it is a bit cheesy BUT who'd have thought! A BASSOON!

Movies: Fame (2009)

Last night I foolishly amped myself up for a viewing session of the remake of the 1980s fave Fame!

I'm actually a fool, I don't even know what I was thinking. I didn't even enjoy the 1980s version (god, movies in the 80s were so effing bleak) so why did I think I would enjoy this unglorified remake?
I think in the wake of television shows like Glee and movies which explore the whole theme of young teens wanting to sing and this newfound universal love for all things musical theatre and performing I was clutching onto this glimmer of hope that this film would do justice to that notion. Nup.


Don't get me wrong, this film has it all, tired and infuriating cliched storylines including and very limited to; My parents don't believe in me and I am being forced to do something I don't love and they are very irrationally against me pursuing my dream (p.s. I'm also from a racially oppressed minority). It also has an end of school concert which you would assume that after 4 years at the most prestigious and difficult schools to get into would be of a much higher calibre and would not just feature 3 students. Oh, and also, If over 10,000 people audition and you choose the absolute best I am so confused as to why they all fucking suck!?


Probably the only thing I enjoyed about the whole movie was when the singing teacher Ms. Rowan (played by Megan Mullally of Will & Grace fame) sing a rendition of "You Took Advantage of Me" in a karaoke scenario and even that didn't blow my tiny mind open as much as it could. 


If I had to rate this movie on a scale of '1 to I'm gonna live forever' I would strip it of its self-important immortality and force it to look in the mirror until it saw the ugliness within!

Youtube Fun

After this seemingly perpetual battle with the weather The Sun has seduced us with a tiny slither of it's almighty greatness. Depressingly, it was my golden opportunity to rid all my clothes of the week long stink that has become far too familiar.

Snapshot: Me wearing a 2XL Bonds Shirt and size S Kappa lad pants while trawling through the internets criticising everyone else for their crappy lives.

There is no greater joy than going for an extended holiday on youtube watching a myriad of covers of your favourite songs! I find it quite therapeutic. Addictive therapy.

I came across this beauty today.

What I find so bleak is when someone puts so much effort into something and it's just terrible anyhow!

Music: Boys Bands On The Rise?

One Direction - What Makes You Beautiful.

I thought that gendered pop bands where a thing that the world (save for those crazy Brits) had given up on. I thought the boy band had become this vintage, twee thing that is cool because it's from the 90s, but if it existed now it would be totally uncool! (on a slightly related side-step The Backstreet Boys are attempting another 'grab for the dollars' Australian Tour. weird)

So, these chaps, "One Direction", are in fact encountering what I guess you could call 'modest' success with this cray cray tune which tells some non-specific damsel she doesn't know she's beautiful. The Australian Aria Chart tells me that this week the song is the 11th best seller and it's been in the chart for 6 weeks and peaked at position 8!

Are boybands coming back? Have they reached that higher state of being? That ridiculous post-post-modern irony where you can say or do anything and you're being ironic and if people don't like it they don't get it/are being too sensitive? Is THAT what this is?

I am deeply perplexed.

Festive: All I Want For Christmas

I have decided I am going to be unabashedly festive this year! Everything from the tacky tinsel to terrible t-shirts, blasting all the famed carols from O Holy Night to Oh Santa!

Since it is 6am and I haven't yet slept words have decide to swim away from the sea of my brain and I'm left only with my ability to see with my salty, tired eyes. Here's a cracker of a Christmas treat for ya'll. I should probably invest my free time into learning this fabulous choreo so I can impress all of my loved ones!

She Cray Cray: Tyra Banks

I've had a longstanding love/hate relationship with Tyra Banks.

I loved America's Next Top Model back in the day.

Then she realised her true passion which was The Tyra Banks show (aka 'I wish I was Oprah') so she continues with Top Model but every episode is like eating an amazing sandwich but you've realised the bread is mouldy half-way through. You stop to think whether you should keep going and you decide, well, I've gotten this far I might as well finish it since I clearly haven't died yet.

So, it's been like this for the past ten 'cycles' (always wanting to be edgy Tyra with ya cycles) of the incredible self-indulgences of Ms. Banks.

It seems in her quest to be an all round entrepreneur, Ty Ty has decided to add Author to her long list of credentials.

While I think this woman is utterly crazy I honestly can't wait to read this book! I love a good trash fiction that is 'loosely based' on reality